A broom handle, a pool cue, a fucking plunger. Gag, woman, gag. Thats the worst thing you can be as a little kid is a fucking bed-wetter. Drunk driving. A chaotic intervention. Jeff sold more comedy albumsthan Richard Pryor and Bill Cosby combined. Not the good frozen pizza, the other fucking frozen fucking pizza, and go back to the shitty little motel they rent us, and one night a week, Id let myself rent a porno movie, and Id call this date night. I have no idea what Id do if I walked out and somebody was there, Id be like [yawning] [click] Oh, hey. How about a sobriety contest? Maybe one day well be the big comics in Vegas, and our names will be on those big fucking signs. Its almost like theres a clown there. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - IMDb Or if theres some paint chips and a tray of Smile Bright. Im ready. I dont know. But I know if I wake her up trying to have sex with her, shell hit me in the face with a bucket of nickels I just spotted on the nightstand. And Ill tell you why I didnt have a problem with it, cause I thought the number of people beating off to my image was zero. I think if it didnt keep my wife awake, I wouldnt know I had it. And I was about 12 years old and I had gone three months without wetting the bed. I got to what? I go, I know its our first night in town but Im gonna go drinking with the boys, and she goes, [slurring] Fine, just leave me in a hotel room by myself? Im like, Youre starting to get it.. And that was the first timeall three of us had our names on big signs in Vegas, and we went outside to look at it, and I was like, Fuck, now what? So if youre ever in Beverly Hills on Sunday night, go to the Four Seasons. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 16+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. I know it smells like piss. 6:01, gets there. Netflix uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes. 1,911, This story has been shared 1,802 times. Its still the number one-selling comedy album of all time, and, uh Jeff had been my friend for ten years, and suddenly, kaboom, hes the biggest comedian in the world. No, thats our boy Tater Salad, is who that is.
